I had such a good idea! I thought it would be fun to make seeded paper — a chunk of papier-mache-ish wad with seeds inside that can be planted — to go inside my Valentines Day cards. After reading about making seeded paper from the blog Kitchen Counter Chronicle (see https://www.kitchencounterchronicle.com/how-to-make-seed-bombs-for-earth-day/), I thought it would be an easy adaptation to go from layering paper in muffin tins, as described in the blog, to making flatter paper that I could cut into hearts and insert into cards. CRAP ALERT: Boy, was I wrong.

I began innocently following the blog’s directions, using a sheet of red construction paper. After all, Valentines Day demands red, right?

I tore the paper into small pieces, divided them into two piles, and put the piles into plastic solo-like cups.

I added water, and left the paper to absorb the liquid for several hours.

So far, so good. But the crapsmanship is just about to start! Following the blog’s directions, I dumped the contents of both cups into our food processor. With one little whirr of the food processor, water went everywhere. Somehow, the mixture was too wet. So I poured much of the water out and whirred again. Now the paper stuck to the blade of the processor, and became an impenetrable wad. I pulled the wad out, thinking that our food processor wasn’t quite up to processing construction paper.

I then took some old zinnia blossoms, pulled off the seeds, and tried to mix them into the paper wad. I was semi-successful. But the next step was where I gave up. I had envisioned being able to roll the paper out into a thin sheet, like I would with a pie crust. I then planned to let it dry, cut it into heart shapes, and have a special little gift to my Valentine card recipients.

Alas (I’m not sure I’ve ever actually used the word ‘alas’ in any written form!), this project was a complete fail. The paper was too chunky, it wasn’t possible to flatten it, and it was only good for the trash. Alas!