Birthday Crapsmanship

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We’ve been in the midst of the polar vortex here in north Louisiana, with similar problems to what has been widespread across Texas. We haven’t lost heat or electricity, and though we have to boil our water for drinking, we still are able to bathe and wash up. Our garage freeze/fridge froze, and we’ve had to discard a bunch of meat and eggs. Since we’ve been iced in for a week, we’re down to very creative meals using what we can scrounge from the inside fridge and pantry.

We feel lucky to have come out of this weather event with minimal impact on our personal lives, but it was disappointing that I couldn’t give Dan the Man his favorite meal for his birthday last Friday. Instead, I improvised. With a baguette, frozen crawfish, and bits and pieces from the pantry, I made some surprisingly delicious crawfish crostini. Using only puff pastry and some ages-old pistachio paste, I made a braided pastry as a substitute for birthday cake. I was feeling creative and proud of my make-do skills.

At least until the crapsmanship happened! We had heavy cream, so I decided a dollop of whipped cream would be lovely and festive on top of the pistachio pastry. I got out the hand mixer, got the blades whirring in the cream, and slowly added spoonful of powdered sugar. I tasted as I whirred, and couldn’t get it to sweeten up. When the whole mixture seized into a gloppy, stiff mix, I looked at the container of powdered sugar. It read, “Bread Flour.” Damn! Into the trash it went, and my cooking pride took a nosedive. Oh, well. If that’s the worst that’s happened to us during this week of crazy weather, we’ll take it!

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